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When my doctor asked me about what I did yesterday, I told him about my day:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from a mountain lion in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake"
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."
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God Bless America, Land that I love
It's only a gambling problem if you lose
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